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This tale begins with “What about me?” an amazing representation of the journey of life, beautifully carried by some of the most incredibly raw & natural sounding music I have ever heard … with words of wisdom added throughout by Echart Tolle, Ram Das, Neale Doanld Walsh & Billy Connely to name a few …
I had already watched “What about me?” alone & felt it was something my children would benefit from. I was totally surprised by their responses.
Firstly Harrison & Morgan were responding to the film from a complete place of wisdom & understanding, far spiritually mature & life aware than many adults I have known.
But what took me to the bone was Harrison’s response when the film covered the subject of men & sex.
He seemed to boil over with anger, an “injustice” … his anger was at the way men & views of women as purely sex objects & men’s feelings about sex were being conveyed, generalised, judged & perceived.
Harrison said he did not feel any of the ways that were being shown on the DVD & that as a teenager he felt it was already being decided how he would be as a man in relation to the world & women. That his role was already set out for not only him, but all boys growing into men.
Such mature, wise words & ones of feeling … I could not agree more with Harrison in the way that society has always predetermined what roles we will play out in life, of course Harrison at his age, cannot see he has a choice.
As a mother of three sons & a daughter, it is not simply my responsibility to ensure that Sunnie enters womanhood, her being, her sexuality, with all the love & support I can give but to equally provide that nourishment for my boys as they make that transition from boy to man.
The question is how?
The transition of girl to woman was not “provided” by my mother or any women in my life, I fumbled my way through, nit picking bits here & there, & not really feeling I could properly “fit into” the copied behaviour I was seeing around me … I did not have a woman in my life who stood in totality & really if we look back at history, when was the last time women embraced their femininity in a loving & powerful way. They have either had to adopt masculine behaviours to be strong while their men were at war or more recently as single mothers … Or have confused equality with having to behave like men therefore loosing natural feminine qualities … Or have had their power as a woman belittled or destroyed as the lesser gender as in religion.
When looking at our mothers we can see that many were bought up in an era where woman had to be very strong, very masculine in their approach to life & others, feelings & emotions were not very often, if at all expressed, shared or shown. There was very little “softness” that provides mother warmth & nourishment.
But this effected our men too for as little boys they were not taught to connect, express or show their feelings either. They were poorly emotionally nourished or over protected. Part of a mother’s responsibility to a child is to provide a safe environment for the exploration & expression of self & a healthy outlet for ALL emotions.
Ah & then we have our fathers … taught to be strong, proud, to prove themselves to the world around them, detached, only boys cry & the best discipline is to create fear … “the stiff upper lip.”
Both parents not showing children that the expression & sharing of feelings is safe, neither parents in their own energies of femine, masculine, let alone balanced… & in denial of their truth, denying a safe space to know & explore ours. Because no one showed them any different, instead of being the change, they choose the same …
The initiation of womanhood was something I had to journey alone at the ridiculous age of 36 …
YET, by then I was ready, there was much available to me as spiritual & physical guidance & support… besides life’s challenges & chaos insisted I grew from my girlish ways into the responsibility of spiritual maturity.
So much & I feel toooooo much, especially on the internet at present is focusing on Women … The Goddess & yes, I feel & see that for the evolution of humanity this is essential. But it is not total. It still feels lopsided… unbalanced. There is still a vibe of women carrying wounds of being “done wrong” by men but men carry their wounds also, they just don’t express them as publically if at all, like women do. We all need to drop the wounds of our past that we have inflicted upon each other, make peace, be in this moment … so that the future may be one of balance & harmony.
I see & feel myself since “the moulding of the two aspects of my brain” as very much a woman in a woman’s body, but at the same time (not sure the words are going to meet what I wish to convey here) … a completeness, a merging of oneness no more separation with anything or one, including male energy & in this my compassion for men has deepened, my understanding. I do not feel them as separate or someone to fight against or as different, I no longer feel a “victim of” instead the male energy is very much a part of who I am in my totality.
We are meant to be laying down new pathways for our sons as well as our daughters …
But what is available for men to support them in this transition?
You see as much as it has been wonky for women, it therefore has been wonky for men. When I look at the men in my life, my ex husband, my ex lover, my brothers, even my father … no offence to them at all but they are all lost boys in a man’s body. They have not been guided through the initiation of boy to man & why because their fathers & their father’s fathers had not grasped it for themselves just as our mothers, & their mothers before them.
My eldest Dale is almost 21, last week he was diagnosed with depression. This deeply saddened me for he asks not for me but for his father. He is lost.
When I was meditating, I received a message that he needed to find his own kingdom. I took this as that I was being told he needed to move out. But the following day I was shown that in all fairy tales the prince has to leave the palace & journey alone on a quest … he returns to be King. Now in the stories we see it as an outer journey, an adventure but the message in the fairy tales is that all boys have to go on an inner journey of self discovery, so that they may return as men. Of course in the fairy tales, the prince is always helped with magic … a guide.
So where is Dale’s guide to support him? Where is the guide & support for our men now, whom like all are being challenged to BE the change, to stand in their masculinity. It is of no coincidence that I have two out of three sons questioning the role of men in their lives & life as a whole …. It is a Universal “request”
We are the pathfinders for our sons & daughters, no we may not have been shown, but we have & can learn fast & quick to give to ourselves what appears to be “missing” & in return give to our children. Both genders need to step out of the stories of the past for this to happen.
In meditation I saw young girls & boys on the sideline … watching all us “grown ups” waiting … waiting to see what we choose … what we choose to BE, as it effects their future.
We as woman are being asked to step into our energy so we may “birth” our men, the enlightened woman births the enlightened man …
We are being asked to support our men step into manhood by stepping into our womanhood.
The Goddess “movement” is not another anti man campaign or a reason to bare or lick wounds in public. When we stand as women, we will birth & allow our men to stand in their masculinity, the two balanced energies become whole, allowing balance & harmony for ALL.
We are simply being asked to be in touch with our feelings, our heart, to be able to express, share & live from the heart. To know & trust that to feel is safe. That there is nothing we need defend or protect against. A woman needs to embrace her power which is held in these qualities … in her sacral where she is the universal womb, nourishing, creating & birthing life around her, her heart where she is loving, forgiving & compassionate, one with all life. With her love she can transmute & purify all energies … & her brow, where her intuition “knows” the whole picture, it is strong & to be trusted.
We cannot expect our men to love as women, they are men BUT I have a statue of Buddha in my lounge & he is holding both “balls” in his hands! … this means he has claimed his masculinity & is willing to be vulnerable, to explore & express his feelings & love … yet in a man’s way!! A man is the protector, the provider, this is his natural way, & by women doing it for themselves … distrusting & confusing men as the enemy, men do not know who they are… A man’s power is held in his base, his solar plexus & his throat … the opposite to women, here they hold the natural qualities of action & the courage to take it, he is disciplined & focused, dedicated & devoted, able to build safe foundations, to provide, to be centred in life & able to experience & express all emotions.
Now each man & each woman needs to own their power as a man & as a woman… if there is natural balance in nature, you can be sure, balance is part of ours.
We cannot as women assume & label who & what all these young boys will grow up to be, to predetermine their future as men that is not fair … We have to see each other with new eyes.
& men … it’s your mature, spiritual responsibility to find your way & therefore the way for your sons.
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